Hello, dear people who actually read these things!


   It recently occurred to me that it is socially acceptable to post pictures in your blog, so that is precisely what I shall do in this post. Since I have not written about every day goings on in my life for a while, I will attempt to catch you up as best as possible using images captured through my phone at random times. ^_^ Moo ha ha.


   My mother teaches fourth grade at a private Christian school, and her students had been asking her to bring me for show-n-tell. I finally visited in April and taught them how to diagram sentences using a donkey, an ice cream cone, and a tree. No, silly, I don't have that much money! I just drew them. ;) The children seemed to enjoy 

themselves and even drew me their own pictured of Bobby Cuppycake. Teaching is definitely not on my list of desired professions, but they were pretty fun to teach.




   Although I have been busy working for the past six months, I haven't been completely solitary. My friends have captured me for a few random trips to downtown Greenville or some coffee place or the mall. Yes, I hate shopping, but I have found a few places that I love very much. One such place is  Body Central in the Haywood Mall. Their jewelry is exactly my taste, and it is always on sale!! I get weird looks when I shop there, though. I can't imagine why......     

   During my free time, which is virtually non-existent now, I try to knock out books on my list of classics. My most recent accomplishment was The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Bronte. The heroine of the story was so easy for me to understand and connect with. It was definitely one of those books you get sucked into and feel all hazy when something or someone drags you out of it. I also love to paint wooden things. I am no master, but it's fun, and it allows time to think, which I love.

   Oh yeah! I almost forgot...the majority of my time is being taken up by both of my jobs. Kohl's isn't a very good company to work for, but the job is decent enough. They give associates a fifteen percent discount, which is nice. Publix, however, is an outstanding company to work for! My jobs have taught me so many things...both practically and about people. I haven't made any "kindred spirits", but I have a few friends. Hopefully I will be able to work at Publix until I get a degree. I have been accepted into the June term at Tri-County Technical College, so we will see how the jobs and school mesh. Maybe I won't die.

   

   About a week or so ago, an unexpected event occurred. My mother and I took my dog, Shadow, to the vet, and we ended up having to put him down. The dog was so ugly, but he was the only happy thing I came home to most days, so it was hard. 

   They say that the pets are just supposed to go to sleep during the procedure. My mother stayed with him when they did it, but I couldn't watch death. I could hear Shadow start to yell at the end. That was the hardest thing I have had to experience in a long while. It haunts my dreams sometimes still. It is a sound I will not easily forget. Still, I have my own ways of clearing my head of cobwebs and obstacles.  There is a park here in town that I absolutely love, because it is usually quiet, and it remains beautiful year-round. I cannot think of a better place to go to talk to God or study or write or just sit. 

   Another part of my life is the O'Brien household. I have been connected to it for almost eight years now. My older friends know the bad that came from it, but my newer friends only know the wonderful things that have come from it. They are such generous people, at least to me. They come pick me up and take me to their home in Greenville sometimes just to hang out. The oldest girl, Marla, is just a little younger than my sister, and Melanie is four years younger than I am. 

   Marla came to the Anderson fair with me this past Wednesday at 10:30pm! She convinced me to get onto the swinging pirate ship ride (which I was completely terrified of!!!), and we saw a real camel, which she had to drag me away from eventually. I spent this past weekend at their house with their papa while they visited an old friend who is doing basic training. It was an adventure, certainly. When they got back, Marla and Melanie took my downtown for some girl-time and a quick game of putt-putt. 

   I was also already in Greenville this past week, because my uncle received an honorary doctorate from Bob Jones University. I was able to see my aunt and uncle from Guam, as well as my cousin Joseph and his family. He had three daughters that I had never really met, and we became friends immediately. Of course, Sarah and Benjamin were there with Garth too. I miss them very much, and it was exciting, yet sad to see how much they've grown even in the six months since I had seen them last (yes...I may quite possibly be referring to Garth AND the kids ^_^). As I told someone else, all of my favourite guys were gathered together on the day of commencement, except two, and one of those was able to join the others for dinner. ;-) I'll let you figure that one out on your own.

Two other exciting events helped pass the dull workweeks during March. The first was the last day of Good News Club, a ministry of Oakwood Baptist Church that goes to Centerville Elementary School and holds a vacation Bible school-type program every Tuesday. Work kept me from going as much as I would have liked, but when I did go, it really made an impact on me. The kids definitely had heart needs, but my friend Amanda and I also went away from every day laughing our heads off about something those crazy kindergarteners did. It was worth every minute. I even found a mini-me!

   The other exciting event in March was the wedding of my friend Cat. She asked me to be her maid of honour. I hate having to get all "dolled up" for anything, but she's my friend. She was also the craziest bride I have ever met. Who drinks a Monster right before their ceremony!? Oh well. Her husband seems to be happy, so I guess that's all that matters. The bachelorette party was fun to plan, at least. :)

   Alright, I think I have tortured you enough for one post with my odd picture arrangements and petty ramblings. There's just one more thing that people seem to think has happened in the past six months. Many rumours have circulated, and I wish to put them to rest. Yes, friends. I have a boyfriend, and I am going to post his picture right here!!! 

   I hope you are all satisfied now. We worked so hard to keep it a secret, but no one would leave us alone. Oh well. All secrets come out eventually, I suppose. I do hope that you will wish us well. It is going swimmingly, and we are very happy, though I don't get to visit him as much as I'd like. He's all the way in Greenville, and his iron-clad work contract kind of has him immobilized right now. He does have a rather steadfast, impenetrable personality, though. Really...he's a solid young man. X-D Alright...alright...I'll stop. Have a blessed week, peoples.






*~Fur~*
Proverbs 31:30
Psalm 19:14

Mountain Climbing

It's been said that most people will never know what it's like to conquer a mountain like Everest. Most people won't try because they are afraid, unable, or just unwilling to try. Imagine life as a landscape. There are hills, valleys, mountains, oceans, and flatlands. I believe every person has to cross a stretch of uncomfortable terrain at some point along their journey, wherever their destination may be. I also believe that most people never know what it's like to conquer those mountains either, for the same reasons. As a Christian, God won't always make someone climb the enormous mountain. Like any parent giving their child free will, sometimes He will sit with them until either they trust Him, or until it is time to go around to more important things. For those who choose to trust Him through the fear and blaze ahead, the experience may seem endless, exhausting, and pointless. 


He provides the right equipment for the job He has called us to do, but sometimes believing that a metal ring a quarter of an inch thick will keep us from plummeting thousands of feet to our death is a little difficult. Letting the intense weather conditions and constant activity wear on and discourage us is too easy. Often we wonder if climbing this terrible mountain is even worth it, since we do not know exactly what the end looks like. While trusting God, it is easier to keep on climbing, but when we allow ourselves to stop and doubt, that is when gravity and doubt start to pull on us and weigh us down. The longer we are still, the more weight it forces upon us, making it nearly impossible to get going again. On a mountain, suspended in the air, if we are not moving up, it feels like we are going backwards, and we start to question our decision to start climbing in the first place. "God didn't force me to do this. He would have understood my fear. He would have let His child go another way. Someone else could have done this. Look at all of the other stuff I could be doing right now while I am stuck on this dumb rock. I'm not even good at climbing!" 


Thankfully, God, in His love and mercy, will turn our eyes back upon Him, whether it be by sending us a partner to help us get going again, or just by giving us the strength to get through the next day so we can see His sunrise on another plain like we have never seen before. He reminds us of who He is, how much He loves us, and what He has done to bring us to this point, and the climb is no longer a strain. Some mountains last a lifetime, with a few plateaus interspersed, and some mountains are overcome in a few months, but they are always rewarding. We should never be afraid to go where God leads us, even if we don't have all the answers at the beginning. "I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:12-13) This doesn't mean that we, as humans, have the power to do everything, because we are saved. It means that God, the Creator of the universe AND us, the One who sees the future and holds it in His hand, the Saviour who has called us to follow Him has given us the opportunity to be a part of His sovereign plan. His will is set in stone, yet He has asked us to be a part of the body...a worker for Him. That same God will not ask us to climb a mountain if He has no control over the mountain. Don't you think the God who has numbered every hair on our head has already taken care of our every need? Our way is set. He's just asking us to climb. We are invincible in His will until He chooses to take us home!






<3 Fur 
Proverbs 31:30
Psalm 19:14

The Lake

There are some days, when your work is done or you are waiting for it to begin, and you find yourself completely excluded from distractions such as television, phones, or other people. Most of us would find this annoying, but it is this type of day that God can really use to teach one more about Himself if there is a willingness to listen. Here is just one strain of thought that came to me recently on a very long and empty day.


Camp kids love the lake. the water is always so inviting and exciting and slightly terrifying to them. I remember how a few of us girls would just sit on the dock and talk while the guys made fools of themselves by seeing how far they could run across the water's surface until the plunged into it headfirst. On sunny days it was usually placid and undisturbed by wind or rain. We wouldn't even have been able to tell it was moving had it not been for the slow, soft, steady sound of it brushing against the shoreline. Occasionally one of us would dip a toe or a stick into it's smooth surface, creating a series of tiny ripples that would emanate from the point of disruption. Of course, some of us would always be overcome by the temptation to slide into its cool depths, because the South Carolina heat is rather relentless.


As I reminisced about the camp days of years that slipped by too quickly, passages of Scripture began to flow through my mind that  used water as a symbol for the Saviour. It made me compare the miraculous element that God created with the attributes of His Son. Granted, they are only thoughts, but they were very interesting. 


Water is a very balanced element, especially in a body such as a lake. Lakes are usually very wide and deep. One human cannot usually know the exact parameters of a lake without being given the knowledge, or at least the tools to find it out. A lake is both  static and in motion. It remains in the same general location, but it ebbs and flows and takes part in the constant cycle of evaporation and condensation and precipitation. It can carry vehicles and humans on its surface, yet it has the potential energy to provide an entire region with electricity. It can be calm, and it can be furious. A lake can be such a comforting place - a solace of sorts and a place of contemplation, but it can be fatal if its rules are not obeyed. It can be seen, yet it is hidden from most. Every human contains a part of the element it is made of, yet many never go near it or seek an understanding of it.  


Does this not sound a little like our God? He is a God of balance. He is perfection in all points. The Godhead is very wide and deep. "O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!" (Romans 11:33) Humans cannot know the parameters of the mind of an infinite Being, yet He has revealed certain truths about Himself, and has given us the tools to know more. "And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13 God is both immovable, yet He moves constantly. He is everywhere, yet no one nor any THING is able to cause Him to move. He is too great. He cares for the sparrow and guides His children with love and gentleness, yet He chastens them who go astray, and punishes His enemies with unparalleled power. The God who created the earth, the heavens, and everything therein, is the same God that answers the prayer of a single mother who needs a job. Also, God sent His Son down to earth to become man...a visible being...a taste of God that is humanly perceived, yet such a small percentage of the earth's population was able to acknowledge him for their blindness! He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not. (John 1:10) Humans were created with eternity imprinted on their souls. the very fact that they are alive is an evidence to their conscience of it, yet how tiny is the number of people who seek the truth of it all? 


Hhhhhhmmmmmmmm......I wonder why God created something like water only on earth to cover over two thirds of it and be essential to the sustaining of our lives.


It just escapes me......


;-)


*~FUR~*
Proverbs 31:30
Psalm 19:14

R.I.P.

Hello, people who actually read this. Tonight's post will be a little different. On my way to church tonight, a song began to play on my mp3 player that reminded me of my friend Keith. Please allow me to tell you our story.

A few years ago, Cat dated several guys who, consequently, became some of my favourite people to talk to. There was Scotty, whose decision to follow Jesus has made him an even more awesome friend. She texted a guy named Alex for a very long time, and I continued to talk to him for a year or so after she moved on. We lost communication when we both started college together. The most random friend I made, however, was Cat's ex-boyfriend's cousin, Keith. Cat and John dated for a long time, but Keith and I never met face-to-face until much later. Our first conversation began by building a pyramid of periods together in an aim chat window. We would go on, however, to converse almost every day until the summer of 2011.

Keith taught me about obscure foreign films, chemistry, gross random youtube videos, the joys of learning German, and the views of someone who thought that they didn't matter. In return, I did not cease to find some way to help him, make him laugh, make him smile really big, or point out his accomplishments. He would often say that he had no purpose - that he didn't belong. In one such conversation that had lasted about five hours, he made a statement that there wasn't any reason that he should be alive. I asked him to promise me something, and he consented. I asked him to tell me goodbye if he ever decided to take matters into his own hands. The next day, I was relieved and excited to see his username pop up on my screen with his standard mono-syllabic "hey." 

Towards the end of my freshman year at Bob Jones, he underwent a change. Most people would have said it was for the better. It only perplexed me. He began saying, "lol" and "cool" and "what's up!?" all the time. Now, reader, you must understand that this just wasn't the norm for him when we talked. He was unmatched in sarcasm and once spent an entire evening pointing out the emptiness of those very words. He began hanging out with friends more, though, and I felt that he might really be happy, then thought no more of it.

Washington state was my home this past summer. My cousins Garth and Becky put up with me for over three months! Something interesting did happen while I was there, though. One day, just as I finished my shower, my phone began to ring. This wasn't totally unexpected. I had been job-hunting a lot. When I looked at it, however, it was a South Carolina area code. No one really calls me. ^_^ I answered . . . but no one spoke. Three more times I repeated my "Hello?", and finally a quiet masculine voice said, "Later, Fur." and hung up! To be quite honest, I was a little disturbed, but I shook it off and continued getting ready. The odd "bad feeling" that had been with me for a few days was still bothering me. That night, I was informed by my Facebook that Keith was no longer with us. He had decided to take his own life less than ten hours before. It wasn't until the next day that I matched the mysterious caller's voice with that of my favourite random friend. It wasn't until the ride to church tonight that I remembered the promise I asked him to make.

I will never have an answer to my questions now. Did he know that he made me laugh more by saying nothing than any other guy's constant rambling? Did he realize that I admired him for being the most honest being I had ever met? Did he know that he had been a better friend to me by walking miles to campus on a Sunday afternoon just to play a game of chess than most any one else? He kept his word to me.

Does he know that I miss him?

*~FUR~*

Inward Song

I sit upon a leather stool
And touch the keys so smooth and cool.
A sturdy perch, a steady eye -
I take my aim before I fly.

My running fingers stretch my wings
As hammers downward strike the strings.
A note, a chord, a melody -
Progress into sweet harmony.

My bird-like song is twisting now
And changing with my sobered brow.
A playful tune is fine to start,
But soon my fingers speak my heart.

With darker tones I speak of sin,
Of darkness deep and strong within.
I mourn perfection lost to me
And others that I long to see.

A harder, louder, faster pace -
The turmoil not just on my face.
My hands, they speak, "My God! My God!
Have mercy now and spare Thy rod!

"My heart would e'er do all You ask.
See penitence behind this mask
Of contemplation, solemn bliss.
My heart, Lord. I have naught but this."

And soon a peace within me grows.
My frantic movement, now it slows.
Arpeggios - the tune grows kind
And ease o'erflows my troubled mind.

My melodies are never quite
Enough to get my feelings right,
But God above, He sees and knows
My inward song and how it goes.

For few this language ever speak,
And fewer still resolve to seek
A melody to call their own;
No hidden tune, but one that's shown.

But I, I pray that God above
Would look upon this child in love
To grant me this - on His bright shore
That I may fly forever more.

Blast from the Past

I realized today that having the highlights of my poetry and short stories on Facebook isn't the best idea . . . so I'm going to slowly transfer them here. ^_^ Enjoy! (If anyone actually reads this . . . )


(because Fur likes to write incredibly stupid children's stories when she's tired...)

>>>>>Once upon a time there was a slug. This slug was anything but average.It was much slower than normal, much slimier than normal, and much MUCH more stupid than normal. Every day it would slither outside of its little hole and slide over the same rocks and grass it did every day. One day, something happened to it that changed it completely. It was sliding over a rock with its friend slug when a shadow suddenly covered the all of the land within its sight. It was a lion! A lion had actually stopped to observe her! This was scary! This had never happened before! What was going to happen?

>>>>>The slug and the lion began talking. They had heard the story of the lion and the mouse, and realized that they would be great friends, even better than that lion and mouse. The slug and the lion then met every day at the same rock and talked and goofed off...well...as much as was possible for a lion and slug to goof off. Every day the slug would slither to that rock and wait. She never really expected the lion to show up. She kept expecting him to forget her, but almost every day they met and talked. They talked so much that, eventually, the slug forgot completely that she was so minute and took the lion's company for granted.

>>>>>On the other hand, the lion's thinking was very different. He spent his days doing what he liked. He liked running with his friends and helping them when they were hurt. He enjoyed watching the lionesses because he loved how hyper and playful they always were. He really enjoyed spending time with the slug because it was different, and he actually could understand her even though they were so different. Nothing was really a burden to him. Every day was the same, but he was happy to go through each one.

>>>>>Soon they were inseparable. Not a day went by where their friends couldn't find them talking like two crazy creatures. The animal world was unbalanced. Soon, the slug began to imagine herself as a lioness and found herself completely lost in that new giant world. She was completely elated until, one day, the lion brought his favorite lioness friend to talk. The slug had never met another lion, and she had also never shown anyone else the "special rock" that was now stained with slime. Fear began to pry its icy fingers into her new, big world. She was terrified that it would all go away.

>>>>>How was she to know that she was absolutely right? It grew colder and colder outside as the season was changing to winter. The lions could walk around freely as they had done before, but the slugs had to alter their living arrangements. The scrawny little slug had to confine herself to her hole, but that was not what bothered her. She knew she had to leave her big world. She had to leave her lion friend. She had to leave him with his friends...and the lionesses that he liked to watch so much. She had to put all thoughts of the wonderful summer out of her mind. She knew it wouldn't be there when the long winter ended.

>>>>>For days the little slug slithered a little more slowly than usual and it seemed that the lion was more reluctant to come and talk. One day, about a week before she was to go into her hole, the lion told her something that set her mind straight about their sizes. He told her about his plans for the winter. He was to spend it with the guest he brought to the rock. He started talking slowly, but then sped up as he thought about it more, and his face twisted into the most amazing pleasant expression the slug had ever seen. She loved to see him excited. It was like slithering over a new rock, or finding a new shiny patch of grass to play in. She knew that he would be happy through winter and that she would never see him again. The thought branded itself on her tiny little brain and was accentuated when she was by herself.

>>>>>The day before she descended into her winter abode, golden king and insignificant pest met for the last time. The lion appeared with an apprehensive expression. He didn't know how to act. He was excited, but he didn't want to hurt his friend by feeling happy. The slug, not wanting to hurt HER friend, put on the biggest "smile" she could, and talked as little as possible. They parted after only a few minutes of talking---the one with a heavy heart, and the other with an air of nonchalance. The slug crawled into her familiar little hole and ceased moving. She knew that her friends would come visit her and she would have a good time. She would get hyper and play with them when the occasion called for it. Nothing, however, would replace her desire for that immense world, or that feeling of being equal with the most amazing creature in creation.

>>>>>A slug emerged from a hole on the first sunny day of spring. This slug was anything but average.It was much slower than normal, much slimier than normal, and much MUCH more stupid than normal. Every day it would slither outside of its little hole and slide over the same rocks and grass it did every day. Then one day, a shadow covered everything in its view. A pain ripped through its tiny little body as memories came flooding back, but then an unexpected thing happened. A flash of white, and all was quiet.

"Robby? ROBBY!! What are you doing!? Leave that slimy thing alone! What did it ever do to you? That's nasty! wipe it off before you come into this house, young man!"

X-D Have a nice week, y'all!

Ode to a Lione

The slug has transformed now into a great bear.
She feeds and protects all who trust in her care.
The lion is weakened - his mane long and rough.
Of his wav'ring ways, she's had more than enough.

There are many more lions, though she did not see,
At the time, how a true friendship really could be.
She wandered away from the rock cold and hard,
But she never quite learned how to put down her guard.
 
The round soot-black bear slowly searched for a place
Where the creatures she spoke to would not fear her face.
She encountered an ape with a deep, piercing gaze,
With such strength she had not seen in all of her days.


This primal new force quickly captured her trust,
Which had almost gone out with the gold lion's dust.
But no more than a friendship this ever would be
For a bear's no companion for ape-kind, you see.

Now alas, this she-bear knew her purpose was not
To be here with the strong one and his wand'ring lot.
No, she must move on, as the seasons and days,
But she misses him still...and his wise soothing ways.

A new forest realm she beholds now ahead
And a strange speaking creature with brown crowned head.
It speaks, and she stops. What a marvelous sound!
Such a voice...such a creature she had not yet found

Who could hold still her mind with such relative ease
As the calm after storms on the turbulent seas.
A voice that speaks truth in a kind, humble way
Is now able to effect a change in her day.

This she-slug-turned-bear is still paralyzed there
By this golden-voiced creature with darkened brown hair.
Oh to run away free! She would move if she could,
But for now she is stuck in this thrice-cursed wood.