Hello, people who actually read this. Tonight's post will be a little different. On my way to church tonight, a song began to play on my mp3 player that reminded me of my friend Keith. Please allow me to tell you our story.
*~FUR~*
A few years ago, Cat dated several guys who, consequently, became some of my favourite people to talk to. There was Scotty, whose decision to follow Jesus has made him an even more awesome friend. She texted a guy named Alex for a very long time, and I continued to talk to him for a year or so after she moved on. We lost communication when we both started college together. The most random friend I made, however, was Cat's ex-boyfriend's cousin, Keith. Cat and John dated for a long time, but Keith and I never met face-to-face until much later. Our first conversation began by building a pyramid of periods together in an aim chat window. We would go on, however, to converse almost every day until the summer of 2011.
Keith taught me about obscure foreign films, chemistry, gross random youtube videos, the joys of learning German, and the views of someone who thought that they didn't matter. In return, I did not cease to find some way to help him, make him laugh, make him smile really big, or point out his accomplishments. He would often say that he had no purpose - that he didn't belong. In one such conversation that had lasted about five hours, he made a statement that there wasn't any reason that he should be alive. I asked him to promise me something, and he consented. I asked him to tell me goodbye if he ever decided to take matters into his own hands. The next day, I was relieved and excited to see his username pop up on my screen with his standard mono-syllabic "hey."
Towards the end of my freshman year at Bob Jones, he underwent a change. Most people would have said it was for the better. It only perplexed me. He began saying, "lol" and "cool" and "what's up!?" all the time. Now, reader, you must understand that this just wasn't the norm for him when we talked. He was unmatched in sarcasm and once spent an entire evening pointing out the emptiness of those very words. He began hanging out with friends more, though, and I felt that he might really be happy, then thought no more of it.
Washington state was my home this past summer. My cousins Garth and Becky put up with me for over three months! Something interesting did happen while I was there, though. One day, just as I finished my shower, my phone began to ring. This wasn't totally unexpected. I had been job-hunting a lot. When I looked at it, however, it was a South Carolina area code. No one really calls me. ^_^ I answered . . . but no one spoke. Three more times I repeated my "Hello?", and finally a quiet masculine voice said, "Later, Fur." and hung up! To be quite honest, I was a little disturbed, but I shook it off and continued getting ready. The odd "bad feeling" that had been with me for a few days was still bothering me. That night, I was informed by my Facebook that Keith was no longer with us. He had decided to take his own life less than ten hours before. It wasn't until the next day that I matched the mysterious caller's voice with that of my favourite random friend. It wasn't until the ride to church tonight that I remembered the promise I asked him to make.
I will never have an answer to my questions now. Did he know that he made me laugh more by saying nothing than any other guy's constant rambling? Did he realize that I admired him for being the most honest being I had ever met? Did he know that he had been a better friend to me by walking miles to campus on a Sunday afternoon just to play a game of chess than most any one else? He kept his word to me.
Does he know that I miss him?
